Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Here Comes the Rain
It's raining outside and it couldn't have come at a better time. I was feeling like one of those clouds, all swollen and full and ready to burst, but... just waiting. I've been staring at my wall for the last .. oh.. two hours or more.
Yesterday my neighbors asked me to stop by their barbecue tonight. They said they had invited over a bunch of old college friends and that it would be fun and would I like to come. I told them I'd try to make it if I didn't have to work. Well, as I left work early tonight, I needed to kill some time so that it wasn't obvious that I was avoiding their shindig. I decided to catch a 5:00 showing of The Dark Knight, which was a great choice, because it kept me occupied until after 8:00. That made me well beyond fashionably late and instead of stopping by to say hello, I just kept my head down and made a mad dash for my door. I wasn't feeling social at all and really didn't think I had it in me to navigate my way through my "Married Mormon Neighbor Social Glitch Syndrome" or MMNSGS. For some bizarre reason, I lose all my social skills when confronted with these neighbors. I like them. I think they are sweet and warm and friendly, but I just cannot find a common groove with them and it causes me to take a social nose dive. The conversation could be 1 minute or 10. Doesn't matter. I wish I had a hidden camera so that I could record the expressions on their faces. I feel this pressure to fill in the silent moments and so I talk more than I need to and often things just come out that shouldn't. I really cannot put my finger on it, but I don't know how many more dinner invitations I can dodge with them. I think it would be torture to have to sit for a meal while I over share all night and watch in horror as they file me away in the minds as a special case in need of their fellowship. Ugh!
OOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooo crap! I'm scared. I like RAIN ... um... but I don't like lightening. I want to hide under something and cover my ears.